Self-awareness is an important skill that is ideally developed and strengthened throughout any therapy process. It involves monitoring internal experiences and responding with intention to outside stimuli. The most simple definition involves knowing what one is feeling and thinking and choosing to respond in a way that will meet one’s goals versus being swept up by an emotion and having no conscious awareness of behaviors that follow. Self-aware people also understand how their reactions impact others and can modify their responses to more effectively meet a situation or person. I also like to think of self-awareness as having an internal dialogue with oneself and conversing with one’s automatic reactions with their more authentic or true self. Self-awareness is linked to a host of positive outcomes, including higher levels of self-confidence, self-worth, emotionally maturity, and higher academic and relationship success. Here are 3 tips for developing self-awareness:
Develop an “outside eye” that can observe yourself from a distance. This is a classic mindfulness exercise that involves being able to notice thoughts, feelings, and reactions without judgement. Keeping a thought journal and analyzing why a particular thought, emotion, or behavior occurred is a good starting point.
Do post-reflections on events that produced strong emotions or negative consequences. Cognitive behavioral therapy has a few useful and concrete exercises for breaking down your mood before an event, what automatic thoughts or interpretations you had when an event occurred, and how these cognitions influenced what you felt, how you behaved, and what consequences followed. My favorite is the chain analysis.
Solicit feedback from friends, family, or therapists. Getting honest feedback about your personality, behaviors, and flaws can be difficult and simultaneously asking for positive qualities and strengths can help absorb what may be hard to hear. I often encourage clients to get information from others about how their words or actions make loved ones feel or to imagine the impact of their words and behaviors on others in therapy to avoid falling into a trap of constantly blaming others or externalizing issues.